If Nurses Named Crayons...

When I was in nursing school, during the long, boring, and drawn out lectures, I would sometimes daydream. I know this sounds silly, but keep reading. One time, Mrs. P was “chasing one of her rabbits”, which was her way of saying that she was telling a story that went nowhere and had nothing to do with the lecture. “And now we're going to talk about alopecia. I don't know if you remember, but my brother has this. He has a dog… Oh! Speaking of dogs, I just adopted a dog from the humane society… He is the cutest thing… And while we were out walking last night we saw a baby deer… Those damn deer eat up my garden every year…  I think I may need an electric fence… I wonder if those would kill the deer…” See what I mean? Chasing rabbits. You hop around from place to place and never catch the rabbit. Anyway, one day during one of her rants, I had this idea. Screw nursing school- I'll use my newfound nursing knowledge and open a restaurant! Ha, by now, you probably think I'm crazy, but I'm making a point. Not just any restaurant, but one of those food trucks that park at a crossroads or a beach. I had no name, and I had no main cuisine. All I knew is that a few of us “nursing school dropouts” were going to run the thing, and that all items on the menu would have medical related names. “Pink Frothy Sputum” – Strawberry Milkshake. You get it? It’s gross, but I loved the idea at the time.

So, back to the crayons…

This picture brought me back to that memory. The gross names. For some reason, I can’t get enough of it. After doing some research and seeing what other people have come up with, I became inspired.

This list is a collection of names thought of by myself and other bloggers. Enjoy!

RED

• Menstruation
• Fresh Wound

ORANGE

• Last Night’s Mac & Cheese
• Iodine Stain
• Diabetic’s OJ

YELLOW

• Yeast Infection
• Urine Sample
• Jaundice

GREEN

• Flu Phlegm Green
• Gangrene
• Rotten Flesh
• C-Diff
• Bile

BLUE

• Suicidal Thoughts
• Hypothermia
• Cyanosis
• Surgical Bonnet

PURPLE

• Mommy’s Stretch Marks
• Walked Into A Door

BLACK

• Domestic Violence
• Blackout
• Meconium
• Smoker’s Lungs

BROWN

• Angioma
• Melanoma
• Turbid Pee
• Caries

WHITE

• Topical Ointment
• Pallor
• Purulence
• Leukorrhea

PINK

• Conjunctivitis
• Perineum

GREY

• Scalpel
• Brain Dead

Please feel free to share your own!