The first thoughts that cross your mind, at the age of 19 when you find out you're going to be a dad, are overbearing. Whether you've waited your whole life for that moment or not. You suddenly realize that the world isn't going to revolve around you anymore, but a creation of you, that will live, breathe, sleep, and eat. You now have created a human being with someone you love more than anything else in the world. You'll be making your best friend a mother, a wife, and a hero.
In February of 2010, the first month of pregnancy started. Over the next nine months, we overcame several obstacles. Morning sickness, cravings, mood swings, bodily changes, decorating a nursery, baby showers... Then suddenly- it's almost over. Before you know it, the forty weeks has passed right before our eyes.
On November 12, 2010, we arrived at our prenatal appointment, early as always. We were both playing on our phones, waiting for what we didn't know would be our final ultrasound. "Straver!" the nurse called. As we entered the ultrasound room, I remember my palms being sweaty. "Mmm...Hmmm...Ahhh." The ultrasound technician is making all kinds of noises. I remember thinking to myself, "What the crap is this lady doing?" She gives us pictures and tells us Dr. Dunn would be with us shortly. When the doctor enters, he says we are going to have a very large baby, one his tech is guesstimating around 10 lbs. He then tells us he would like to see us on Monday the 15th, where we would decide to have a natural birth or c-section. He tells us that we'll be having a baby soon. Panic sets in as we both sit in the car in complete silence. This is a whole week earlier than our due date. As a very restless, nervous weekend came to an end, we decided that a c-section would be best. Dr. Dunn was very pleased with our news and had us check into the hospital that night.
We get to the hospital. We had already previously registered, so our room was ready. The nurse comes in, checks Erica's cervix, starts an IV, hooks her up to the baby monitoring machines, and says that she'll be in momentarily to place the Cervidil on the cervix and then they would start Pitocin. Well, this didn't sound like any c-section we had ever heard of, so I immediately went chasing after the nurse to question this. She said that this was what the Dr. had ordered. Erica starts to panic and tears flood her eyes, because she already had to change her birth plan, and now, it was being changed again, without her knowledge. The nurse calls Dr. Dunn who says we're there for a c-section in the morning. The nurse then comes back in and discharges us, only to tell us to return at 5 a.m.
Another restless night. I tossed and turned. Erica, bless her heart, didn't sleep a wink. We get there the next morning only to start the process all over again. It turns out, that the nurse should have never discharged us. Now they've had to restart the IV all over again. The nurse had no clue how to properly start an IV, and after about 10 minutes of digging in Erica's arms, I asked for a new nurse. This nurse got it in the first stick but it was placed directly on top of her hand because the previous nurse had done so much damage to the veins in the arm.
Our c-section was scheduled for sometime after lunch so were just being lazy and talking and visiting with what family we would allow to visit. Two men busted through the door at 8:30 a.m. and said "Mrs. Straver are you ready?" Of course she replies "No, you must have the wrong person, I'm scheduled for after lunch." We were then informed that there has been an opening and Dr. Dunn was ready for us now. She starts to panic as they tell her I must wait there. I put a bunch of protective jumpsuits and robes on and waited for someone to get back with me.
Time passes. At 8:55 a.m., a man walks into the room and says to follow him, and not to touch anything. We get to a large set of double doors where he tells me, "Just a few minutes and I'll come get you. At 9:05 a.m., I enter the room, a large but very cold room, fully staffed with the doctor, anesthesiologist, and 4 or 5 nurses and techs. I'm directed to the head of the operating table to be by Erica, who is drifting in and out from the large dose of anxiety medication, because she had a major panic attack.
Things seem to be going in slow motion. The doctor says, "Okay we're going to break your water now", and as the table shakes you can hear liquid being sucked out of her body. I thought it was pretty fascinating. It was only a few moments and the doctor says, "Wow, there's hardly any water. This is the stickiest baby I have ever delivered." "Erica," the doctor says, "we're going to start pushing now." He starts pushing from the top of the abdomen until the baby is out. The whole table shakes and jerks. She is still pretty much knocked out and has no clue what's going on. I'm having cold sweats. I'm nervous and my mind's racing. Suddenly you hear a cry and Dr. Dunn says, "Yep, that's a boy!" At 9:19 a.m. we had an 8 lb. 6 oz. baby boy, measuring 20 3/4 in. long. I'm then instructed by two nurses to come cut the cord. Ian is finally here. He's wrapped in warm blankets and put into my arms. Tears fill my eyes as I bend down to show Erica our perfect creation, telling her that he has hair. She looks over and smiles before she passing out again.
As we are hurried down the hall and into the nursery you can see both of our families, stuck to the glass. All you can see are big smiles, finger pointing, and cameras. Ian was so quiet. The nurses cleaned him off, gave him a bath, and took his prints, while he never uttered a sound. That was, until they had to stick his little heel to get some blood, and give him his shot. His cry was strong and deep. He had a great set of pipes on him.
Several hours had passed before Ian could leave the nursery and Erica was finally brought back to the room. The nurses were instructed that there was to be no family until we said so, well that went over like a lead balloon. Family started pouring in. Erica only had a few moments with Ian before the family started taking him and passing him around. It was like we had no control, but we couldn't have been happier that we were surrounded by such a loving and caring family. Finally a break, us time. We were both exhausted from the day, but of course, we wanted Ian to stay in the room with us, even though the nurses offered to keep him in the nursery. I dozed off, thanking God for my precious baby boy and for Erica. I was so blessed. They way I loved Erica changed. I would never look at her the same again. Just when you thought you couldn't love anyone anymore, I could, and I did.
I jumped up in a panic, because my alarm hadn't went off. Ian hadn't cried, the machines didn't go off, it was peaceful. I had woke up, somewhat disoriented from exhaustion, only to see Erica sitting up in the bed, playing dress up with her new bundle of joy. Feeding him, holding him, and snapping a gazillion pictures. My heart melted then again. The nurses had just forgot about us, so I was playing daddy and nurse, changing diapers and bloody bed pads.
We made it through the night! Our first night as parents, and we made it. We were now working together as a team in a world of what seemed like mass chaos. We were told that we couldn't breastfeed, and we still, to this day, do not know why were were told that. Bottle feeding it was. Ian wasn't eating like he should but a nurse who called herself "Grandma Pat," came in and slung him over her shoulder. She gave him a pop here and there and slammed that bottle in his mouth while saying "Sometimes you gotta be a little firm and press that nipple way back there." Erica and I were scared to death but the nurses magic worked, and he began eating like a pro! Ian started looking yellow. He had to have scheduled heel sticks to test his bilirubin levels and make sure his jaundice wasn't getting any worse. Yellow he was, but still so perfect. I remember changing his first poopie diaper. It was so black and sticky, and had no smell!
The time had come. It was checkout day. The cold air hit you as soon as you walked outside, only being four short days away from Thanksgiving. I get Ian in the car, with Erica sitting beside him, and we start the three mile journey to our small, homey apartment. What should have took about ten minutes, ended up taking about forty. As a new father, I was terrified of driving around with my precious cargo. I should have been used to it. After all, I had been driving him around for nine months!
What a work out, carrying a new baby up the stairs in his carseat carrier, to our apartment. Finally, nuzzled away at home, the visitors slacked off and we got to return to being a normal family. Erica was limited to what she could do because of a the c-section, so I let her take the bed and rest up. I decided to keep Ian in his bassinet in the living room, while I slept on the couch. The first night home, Ian cried and cried. I remember holding him and crying, asking God to please tell me what to do. Finally, a sudden peace came over the house and he slept like a rock. Erica and I had to wake him up to eat. We had made it again. Our first night home as parents.
Hours and days ran together, with exhaustion to follow. But it was well worth it, because they begin the best days of our lives. We finally had a complete family, which is what we both desired. Ian gave me motivation to finish college and become a nursing home administrator, and Erica to be a nurse. He got our lives on track. We know we want him to have the best, and have a childhood better than we had. To this day, almost 3 years later, we work diligently to make sure that each day for him is better than the previous. He is our first born, our pride and joy. He is the twinkle to my eye, and the beat to my heart. He is Ian Bronx Straver.
Written by, Jerod Straver
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