{Weight Loss} The Beginning

It is time. Time to make a change.

I have been overweight all my life. Although I am considered obese, I have been very lucky not to have any other health conditions associated with my obesity. (diabetes, hypertension, sleep apnea, hyperlipidemia, congestive heart failure, etc.) But I feel if I don't do something now, those things will be in my future, and that scares the crap out of me. 

Looking back at pictures, I've been overweight probably as far back as kindergarten.

I have never been happy in my body. It was especially hard on me in school. I couldn't wear the “hip” or “in style” clothing. I looked like an idiot trying to participate in gym class. I would even sometimes get out of breath walking from one class to the next. It was miserable.

I guess because I had nice things, and because I was loud and bubbly, and made friends with everyone – people assumed that I was happy. They couldn't be further from the truth.

A week ago I made a decision. A decision to get my life back, the life that I have always wanted. The life where I don’t have to shop in plus sized stores, the life where I can get out of the shower and not feel disgusted when I look in the mirror.

The choice to lose weight is mine, and mine alone. It isn't about trying to look prettier or be a super model, it’s about becoming healthier. I want to be stronger, have more endurance, and live longer. I want to be around to enjoy my grandchildren and travel the country in an RV with my soul mate.

It will be a lifelong struggle, but I am ready.

Two days ago, I made a very expensive, yet important purchase. I bought  a Bowflex Treadclimber.

The TC20 model, to be exact. I’m praying that this $3,500 purchase is going to save my life. Last night I received the shipping confirmation, and I am anxiously awaiting its arrival.

To give a little background on this decision: I did tons of research. I read reviews and success stories. I read specifications, and compared other products. I am not a gym person. I am embarrassed to work out in front of other people, and I don’t like the idea of “working out”. I’m not a lazy person, by any means, but I despise the word: exercise. I wanted something beneficial that I could enjoy while listening to music or watching my favorite TV shows. I have tried diet pills, Weight Watchers, the Atkin’s diet, “miracle cleanses”, etc. I would lose a few pounds, and then gain it back and then some. I had considered weight loss surgery, but being a nurse, I know all the risks and side effects, and being so young, I didn't want to put myself through that. I know that I can do this without taking such drastic measures.

When my machine arrives, I will write another blog. In that blog will have before pictures, current weight and measurements, and my first goal weight.

Here are some pictures that fueled this life changing event. Looking at these literally make me sick. This is not how a 21 year old woman should look, and the fact that I have had a child is no excuse. There is a smaller, healthier person in there somewhere, and I AM going to find her. 

Please be kind if you choose to comment.